You called me this morning. And you told me that you have your doubts in your mind. Whether you want to stay with me on this difficult heavy rocky roads or should you just move on to someone else, start a brand new life. And to be honest, both of us could see how tempted and easy the later road is.
Dear one....
Staying with me wont be easy. You've known me for years. You already see me at my best and my worst. By now, you must have known that I have a high standard on mylife. And I do not fear hardwork to achieve that. I could be really stubborn and annoying sometimes. And at my worst, it so easy to evoke anger from me.
I'm far from perfect. I know it and already accept myself the way I am. I've tried my best to turn myself into a better person though sometimes I failed miserably.
If I were your friend, and you asked me the same above question, I might suggest you to move on forward and find another amazing person. There are so many dozens women out there that will suit you. And you'll be able to start a new happy family and put your past behind.
But I am selfish. I still want you to notice and adore me only. So I cant tell you to leave me alone and have your own life. Or maybe both of us are selfish and afraid. So we keep hold on and stick to each other in this lonely rough road. Though the ending is still so dark and difficult to predict.
I love you.
There is no way I would deny this feeling.
No matter how bad you treated me, no matter how often you dissapointed me, I keep fall in love with you.
I do care of you. And I realize that we only live in this life once. And I'm not going to be a person who prevent you to find real happiness in this precious life. No. I determine NOT to be that kind of person.
It's your call now.
If you think that "us" is worth enough to be struggled with, then I'll be by your side and fight with you. But if you think, it isn't, then I'll retreat myself and silently disappear from your life.
I may feel angry, betrayed, dissapointed and sad. I may say nasty words at first. But you and I know me so well. We both know that at one point, I will accept your decision and continue my life. And I'll be allright.
So please think about it carefully. And please notice that I do have the same "fears and concerns", just like you. Dont be afraid to break and hurt me. You've done that once, and I come back just fine. We both agreed to try our second chance. If it failed, then it meant to failed. It would be the end of it. Not another chance.
It takes 2 persons commitment to build this relationship. And when 1 person un-willing to continue, there is no way the other one can do to make it works.
So, take your time and make up your mind. Then tell me, please..... I need to know where I stand now.
Thank you.
