Something That Left From My Hometown City

There are two stories that left from my last visit.

First, I met one of my best friend.

I've been trying to contact her in the last 6 months. And last month, she finally answered my phone.

The wind whispered that she was facing the same problem like mine. Well, not really the exact same problem. But both of us were dealing with seeing our big dreams falling apart.

So I finally met her. I appreciate that she managed to find a spare time to have a little chat with me in d middle of her crowded education's life.

She still the same person I knew. The only thing different, was her teary eyes when she told me a little about her recent life. I never see her that sad before.

I've been in her place. And I know how much the pain would cost. I know exactly how uncomfortable it is to stand among a lot of people and seeing their eyes judging us. Eventhough they might not judge us, it still so hurt to realize that we're different.

I would never judge her. I respect her personal life. When it's done, then it's done. The only thing I could do to comfort her was suggesting her to prepare herself and her children financially.

She tries to think positive and move her life on forward. And I really wish her luck. Really hope that someday she will be able to mend her heart and find someone to build a new dreams.

And now, about the second story.

It happened on my last day at the seminar room. Two of my friends told me that someone had a crush on me, and willing to know me better.

I'm flattered of course. ;-).

Not because someone was paying attention to me, but mostly because my friends still care for me. I'm gratefull for the last reason.

And the words that came out from my mouth was something like "Thank u, but I'm still wounded. Not really sure whether I'm ready to make a new move"

*sigh

They say when you loose someone you love, you'll experiance a series of emotional stages. Denial, anger, bargaining, depresion and acceptance.

It's been more than 3 years, and I should be on the acceptance stage. But the truth is, sometimes I degraded to denial stage. Got angered, hoping that I could bargain with the reality. Even sometimes got depressed when I realized that reality hurts. I try to accept what life has brought, but sometimes, I just move down again to the first stage.

Running in the same circle.

Over and over again.

And it seems like I'm stuck there.

Wonder how it's going to end.

And to you my dear friend, I do pray that you're going to overcome all of this difficult time. Yes, sometimes reality sucks, but life is still beautifull in its way.

God may have another better plans for you. (and me ;-))